I happened upon this song yesterday while looking for something else that I had heard on the radio.  Neither of the songs were similar but I was very glad that I found this one.  A great song to listen to not only for the beautiful music but also for anyone that has suffered loss of any kind and most of us have in some way.  I have some goals for the week that I plan to post and be able to review from time to time. I hope to be encouraged by any progress I might have.  By this time if things had gone the way we had hoped for we would now have our little boy.  This past Friday (comparing this to all my past c-sections and deliveries) we would have been at the hospital at 39 weeks delivering our baby boy.  Well my mind began to wonder this past week.  I had the feeling of anticipation of what should have been.  For weeks now I feel that we have been doing very well and learning to remember our baby without so much of the sadness but when I least expect it I personally feel that I have fell back into that pit.  The pit of self-pity, depression and the why's?  When I'm able to recognize it then it's time to dig myself out of that pit and come back to normal living.  I think this must be something that you don't even know has a hold of you until you're caught.  As well as too much hurrying from here to there makes it harder.  Feeling tired and overwhelmed, not how I want to be.  So I plan to start a list of goals.  Organizing and planning seem to be therapy for me.  As for my list in no certain order- Reading and memorizing scripture with the family.  Daddy does a great job with the family each night doing this but I would like to help the kids during our school day to memorize some passages together and also go back through the book of James again.  Our church is doing this in the ladies group but since I haven't been able to join in I thought we could just study this book together at home.  My older ones have memorized all the books of the Bible but reviewing this each day would be a help for everyone.  Plus Jacob has only memorized the books of the NT and we are about in the middle of the OT.  We have been doing a unit study on Ireland and we have learned so much and really enjoyed it.  My plans are to also start the Amanda Bennett studies for American Government, Elections and a few other things on that subject.  It will be the perfect year to do that!  We have made a huge change in our eating habits.  We have seen some big improvements in the way we feel and have had a fairly healthy winter season ( in comparison to some in the past) this has been a family effort and we have been educating ourselves in other ways of Natural Healthy Living.  The documentary Forks Over Knives was the push we needed to start making some changes but there is still plenty room for improvement.  Since the mornings are nice and cool and the afternoons are way too warm TOO SOON we will have to move around the school schedule to allow for outside time in the morning hours.  I hope to add a neighborhood walk to this too. Sewing- A true enjoyment- I have the fabric purchased for Sarah's dress and I plan on trying a new pattern for Easter.  We need to do some outdoor Spring pictures and I have a plan for the color coordinated outfits.  Morgan and Katie still need to pick out their skirts and tops and then we will be ready.  I hope to go back to the area we did Fall/Winter pictures at.  More house cleaning- we have moved the girls room around after being blessed with the gift of a beautiful girls bedroom set.  I still need to finish their curtains too.  This might take awhile.  Implementing a "stay at home date night".  This might be a good thing to do on Wed. nights after Sammy gets home from church and the kids are already in bed.  Something good to munch on enjoying spending time with each other.  I have missed my husband lately with our boys doing Upward Basketball and him coaching two teams this has made for Tuesday nights being taken up and then a very hectic Saturday.  I know Josiah and Jacob and Morgan (assistant to her Daddy) have enjoyed it but I am looking forward to taking back our Saturdays.  There is plenty of yard work to do and maybe a few day trips here and there.  Also we started reading a series a while back but got off track so maybe we can start on this again it will line up perfect with our study of Ireland.  Also some long range personal goals-I have everything I need to try soap making if I can just get the nerve up to try it.  We have planted some different berry bushes and hope they do well.  Morgan is wanting to try a small garden and I am hoping to grow a few herbs.  Starting small and seeing how I do with these.  Drink more water and drop some weight (always a good wish for me) but not to stress over it.  And a big dream of ours would be to do more singing as a family with me not doing any singing just being an encourager.  Daddy and the kids are always singing and learning new stuff on the piano and guitar.  This is truly a gift and needs to be used.  Back at Christmas some of the kids at church went to an elderly unit and sang for them.  It was such  a blessing for them and the kids.  I would love for our family to reach out to the men and women in the nursing homes and sing and play for them.  I'm sure it would be a great time for all of us and a ministry for our family to do together.  Also a good way to spend some of our Saturdays.  Now I just need to take the initiative and find a place that has a need for this type of outreach.  Fellowship time- I have great plans on inviting friends over but need to follow through.  This is an area that needs much improvement.  Painting- It seems there is always an area that needs some new paint.  Starting with the foyer and stairs and then moving on to the bigger area.  This is a big to do list but I plan to start slowly- key words DO NOT STRESS!!!                                                     

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